Crazy Koop and her German Troop

Even though I lived in the middle of California, I did not want to take Spanish in high school. I didn't care  how "practical' it was; I was set on taking German. My friend Haley had told me good things about the teacher, and I was curious.

That choice changed my life. It truly did.

Dorena Koopman was not your average teacher. She was the ideal teacher - the one that all of my college professors tell me that I need to be. Those golden teachers DO exist, and I was fortunate enough to discover one in room S42 at Bullard High School.

She was so intelligent. She was passionate about German and knew how to teach it. But she also cared for each and every one of her students in a way that not very many teachers do. She had a talent for talking about anything (and I mean anything) and relating it back to German and what we were learning in our classroom. My classmates and I have always fondly said that she taught life.

I learned so many life lessons from Frau Koopman.

She also fought a twelve-year battle with cancer. Liver, lung, breast, and brain cancer.

I was a junior in high school during her twelfth and final year of the battle. April 17th 2009 - four years ago today - was the day when the principal, school psychologist, and other random school officials came into my Advanced German class with the announcement that our beloved teacher had slipped from this life. It was hard. Our class had grown extremely close, and we were like a family on campus. One big, happy German family. And now our comforter and support was gone. So we had to learn to comfort and support each other.

We learned so much from her death. Crazy Koop. Even in death, she was still teaching us things.

I have many memories that I hold close to my heart, particularly of that last year.

Koop was so cool - she actually put the time and effort into having the advanced classes do two plays each year. They were completely in German and everyone had a role. Our very last play before she died was Aschenputtel (Cinderella) and it was so much fun.

This is a picture of Cinderella, the four step-sisters (yes, four, and I'm the blonde one in the middle up top), the step-mother, and Frau Koopman. She's on the far left in the grey. This was a time when she wasn't doing chemotherapy, so she actually had hair.

Ah, I loved being a step-sister. I may or may not have gotten to dance with Prince Jared... (before he drops me on the ground when he sees Cinderella) and it was the most fun I had in the whole play. And Koopman was always surprised that quiet, shy little Ashley had such a loud stage voice. What can I say, Koop? I'm an actress. You should see me now... I just can't shut up in any of my classes. High school was an awkward stage for me. I hope you're watching me and how much I'm growing. All that I'm succeeding in. I owe a lot of it to you, Koop.

And I'm sure my German family agrees.

Seniors, hanging in S42 before it got remodeled.

In my advanced written and oral communications class this semester, we had to write a "This I Believe" essay. For those of you who have not heard of "This I Believe" essays, there is a whole website devoted to showing inspirational essays that people write about things that they believe in. I chose to base my belief on something that Koopman taught me: the power of fighting for something.

It was difficult to write the essay for more than one reason.

1. It has to be around 500 words, if not shorter.
2. I had SO many things that I wanted to say about Koopman and all she taught me.
3. It's a "This I Believe" essay, not a "This Koopman Believes" essay. So I had to try (in only 500 words) to introduce Koopman, the topic of fighting for something, and then relating that to me and my life. I had to keep remembering that this was an essay about me, not an essay about Koopman.
4. I could keep editing and re-writing it forever. And it's still far from perfect.

I wanted to turn it in today though. It seemed the most fitting, since it's April 17th. It seems like it's been longer than four years... and yet it seems like yesterday.

In any case, I figured that I would share the essay on this blog. Maybe it will give you a little glimpse of who Frau Koopman was. Who she IS. If they end up publishing my essay on the This I Believe website, then I will let you guys know. Because that would be cool.

I Will Fight

She was bald. That was the first thing I noticed about my German teacher, followed by her cheesy smile and the clinking sound made by the rings on her fingers when she clapped her hands together. Dorena Koopman quickly became my favorite teacher. She was intelligent. She was humorous. And she was in the middle of a battle with liver, lung, and breast cancer.

As I spent time around Frau Koopman, I noticed that she never complained about her trials. She did not focus on her pain, or on the difficulty of balancing chemotherapy and classes. Instead, she focused on her students; she chose to spend her time and energy fighting for us. Fighting for me. Eventually I realized why she did this: she gained strength and courage by latching onto the good in life. To her, I was something worth fighting for. Her love for her students gave her the power to keep going.

I remember the day when Frau Koopman came to us with the news that the cancer had spread to her brain. Rather than complain about the pain, she used her remaining energy to reassure us. “You’re German students!” she said. Those three words were everything I needed to hear. They were her way of reminding me of what I had learned from being her German student. She wanted me to find the good in my life, latch on to it, and stand up for it – just as she had.

I believe that having something to fight for gives me strength. Turning my focus towards a goal allows me to put my life into perspective and see the good in it. I do not have cancer to battle or students to support, but there are other things I can fight for, such as my family. My family is a foothold I can grasp onto in this busy, stressful world. I find solace and peace when I spend time in the arms of my husband. I receive reassurance and confidence from the love of those closest to me. I will fight for the success and well-being of my family and my future children until the day I die because family keeps me grounded. Family comforts me in a chaotic world. Fighting for family helps me get through the moments of self-doubt, insecurity, and the times when life overwhelms me. And they fight for me too. We support and uplift each other. I love my family, and I will fight for them and everything else that is good in my life. If I cannot fight for those good things, then life is meaningless.

            I celebrate the life of Dorena Koopman because she was the perfect example of how to fight and remain optimistic through the hardest of times. She showed me the importance of grasping the blessings I have and holding onto them until the end. It is the greatest lesson she taught me, and one I will always cherish. I will fight; I will never give up.

So much to say. Only 500 words.

And I still have this. Wearing it now.

I love you Koop, you crazy lady.
Thanks for everything.

I May or May Not

Sometimes, life gets rough. For me... for you... for all of us. I have rough days/weeks, just like everybody else. And this may or may not have been one of those weeks. And it's not over yet.

I may or may not have gone for 42 hours straight with no sleep on Tuesday/Wednesday.

I may or may not be sick right now.

I may or may not have sat on my bum and helped with nothing at rehearsal tonight because I'm sick and tired.

I may or may not be changing my major.

I may or may not be tired of taking 11 classes at once.

I may or may not have lost my voice. And I'm in charge of music at Seussical callbacks tomorrow.

I may or may not have gotten angry at Provo for snowing earlier this week.

I may or may not have a super busy weekend ahead of me.

But ya know what? I'm still SO blessed. So very, very blessed. There could be far worse things that I have to deal with in my life, and I am fortunate to be where I'm at and who I am. Besides... I have so much to look forward to! Only two days of classes left. Just one oral report and one written final left to take. I can sleep in on Wednesday for the first time in forever. Doug and I are going to Tucanos that same day. My father-in-law is coming to visit us in just a couple weeks. Seussical is going to be so fun to work on.

I saw this list on facebook. And I basically agree with every single thing on it:

I should always strive to think positively, count my blessings, and find things to look forward to. Doing that can brighten the days where I want to collapse and do nothing. I know I will be okay! And that is such a great thing to know.

Plus... I have such a great husband. Picking me up from campus even though it only takes 15 minutes to walk, giving up his time just so he can be at home with me while I'm sitting and stressing over homework or projects, smiling the biggest smiles I've ever seen when he finally sees me again after a long school day, making me food and doing dishes, telling me I'm beautiful when I do not feel pretty at all... yep. He's a keeper. I'm so glad I'm with him forever.

Book Collecting

I had long forgotten about the fact that Barnes & Nobles has "Collector's Edition" books. That is... until I made the fateful decision to walk in that store on Friday evening.

When I emerged from the book aisles an hour later, I had this beautiful specimen in my hands and a newly-realized ambition to create a home library filled with Collector's Edition novels.

My camera doesn't do it justice, I promise. This little beauty is more gorgeous in person.

Yes. Yes, it took me a whole hour to decide on one book. I was going back and forth between the Sherlock Holmes collection or getting Anne of Green Gables and The Secret Garden. I had to keep reminding myself that I already have copies of those two books... but these were Collector's Edition.... gah!

Now I know what I can tell people to get me for Christmas and my birthday. Whoo, books!

It was so satisfying to stick that Sherlock Holmes collection right next to my other Collector's Edition book - Jane Austen's novels, of course - and envision the day when the whole shelf would be covered in pretty novels with embossed covers and gold-leaf pages.

Book collecting. I can add this to my bucket list now.

And check this out! Collector's Edition, gold-leafed, beautiful, gorgeous Harry Potter novels. I'm gonna die. Really. It's too bad that this one book is 55 buckaroos. I'd have to dish out $400 for the whole collection. Not gonna happen.

source

In other news, I've spent my Saturday and Sunday watching General Conference. I watch it every April and October, and I always look forward to it. You still have a chance to tune in for the Sunday afternoon session! It starts at 2:00 MST... I'd recommend checking it out, especially if you've been wondering what Mormons are all about.

Potter Nostalgia

The first time I read Harry Potter was during the month of March in 6th grade. Now when March comes around each year, I get random urges to go read the books again, particularly the first book because that's where the magic all started. For the past month, I've been yearning to re-read the series for the zillionth time, but I had to tell myself to resist. Too much homework, plus work, plus rehearsals, plus who knows what else...

Today I picked the first book up. Flipped through it. Suddenly, I wanted to be a young girl again so that I could re-experience the magic of reading those books for the first time. I wanted to feel the anticipation of waiting for the next book to come out; theorizing with my friends about what might happen in the next book, buying it as soon as it hit the shelves, and reading all day. Unable to put it down. Flipping out as the plot progressed and more twists and turns were thrown in.

Yes. Yes, I'm a Potterhead. If you couldn't tell.

Thank you so much, JKR. This series is just... so... magical. I am so glad that I grew up as part of the Potter Generation. It was such a great time to be a teen.

By the way... the Stage Manager of the play that I'm working on right now has a custom-made sweater with the following words on the back of it:

It has images to go along with the words, and at the bottom of the sweater are the words "All was well".

I want that sweater.

You guys, I'm feeling huge waves of nostalgia. No joke. Ohmygoodness, I love being able to say I am the Harry Potter generation. Yes. My mind is decided. I'm going to go start reading the first book all over again. There are only two weeks of classes left anyways...